


Best______Ever

by Masterofceremonies



Series: Batjokes Fics! [7]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Dark Knight (2008)
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 07:05:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5859004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterofceremonies/pseuds/Masterofceremonies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Joker, can you tell us about your best sex ever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best______Ever

Hm... That's a... Hard one. Ya see, as, uh… _sexy_ as I am, doing the nasty isn’t high on my list of priorities. So I’m gonna tell you a story about my “best TIME ever”. No sex for you!

_ If it was sex, it was one sided. _

  
I’m sure all of you coulrophiliacs out there know the classic tale of when I blew the dear DA’s little squeeze to pieces… (and him half to hell) 

HahahaHAHAHahaHAAHahaHAAhAHAHAhaha

  
_Ahem_. 

Anyway. While my men were…. well, taking the initiative. _Not my plan._ I was in Gordon’s cage, and my darling bat decided to drop in. He wanted ever so badly to know where his friends were. Of course, I wanted to play, and he…. well, things got **heated.**   _Maybe he did feel something. Maybe it wasn’t just me._

  
He slammed me up against a wall, his arm on my throat _he’s pressed up against me I can feel the kevlar through my suit rubbing all the right places I wonder if he’s doing it on purpose_ tossing me around like a rag doll, _body hitting the table something crunched but I can smell him oh god he reeks of leather and sweat and something dark like oil._ It was a complete violation of my rights, you know. The police in Gotham are just as corrupt as the mob. No sense of dignity. _He just leaves me on the table he’s heading for the door don’t leave now please oh god I almost swore I was close so close but I call out to him to make him come back make him touch me again make the game last longer_. 

For all I know, Batman and the cops planned the whole “blocking the door” thing. Sloppy. _The pigs are probably horrified that dear old batsy put a chair under the doorknob oh goody now we can’t be interrupted and he’s back on me._

  
So before I know it he’s slamming my head into the glass, _I’m dizzy but I need to keep my wits about me I need to remember every second of this delicious torture_  punching me around, _my body is singing with pain and pleasure_  demanding over and over again that I tell him where I took them, _his voice is driving me insane his fists clench and he’s snarling in my face I can feel the thrum of his words in my very bones as I laugh and laugh because moaning would be rude and he might stop playing._

But he doesn’t know that he’s going to have to chose, and the look on his face when It tell him… _His hands are curled around my clothes hauling me up and I’m limp because there’s no reason to fight I got what I wanted and I can feel it when I shift and move the wetness in my suit just because of him I wonder if he notices it I wonder if it disgusts him..._

 Well it was almost _**orgasmic**_. 

  
So that's the story of my best  _sex_  time ever   



End file.
